Behavior Guidance
Exit seeking and 'I want to go home'
'Home' usually doesn't mean the building. It means safety, the past, or a moment they remember being okay. Arguing about the address never works.
Updated 2026-02-27
Decode the request
'I want to go home' often means one of: I'm scared, I'm bored, I'm in pain, I need the bathroom, I want my mother, I want it to be the way it was. The brain converts feelings into actions it remembers — and 'go home' is a familiar plan.
What works
- Don't correct ('you ARE home'). Acknowledge the feeling: 'You really miss home, don't you?'
- Redirect with a memory: 'Tell me about your mama. What did she cook?'
- Walk together. A 15-minute walk often resets the request.
- Check for pain, hunger, bathroom needs, sundowning timing — the 'home' request is often a proxy.
- Have a 'coming home' script ready: 'It's getting dark. Let's stay here tonight and head home in the morning.' By morning the impulse has usually passed.
Safety: when exit seeking becomes wandering
- Door alarms (~$15) on every external door.
- Hidden door locks placed above eye level.
- GPS tracker on a watch or in a shoe insert.
- Enroll in the local Wandering Registry / Project Lifesaver.
Frequently asked questions
- What if they get out and we can't find them?
- Call 911 first, then send a photo to the Silver Alert system. Most wanderers are found within a mile of home and often near water — search those first.
- Will moving to memory care make this worse?
- Initially, often yes — for 2–4 weeks. After that, most residents settle and 'home' fades. Talk to the memory-care team about a tailored transition plan.
Every dementia journey is different.
Memory Lane Care helps you understand what applies to your loved one, what to expect next, and which resources fit your family's situation.
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Memory Lane connects every part of dementia care. Here's how this topic threads into the rest.
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