Hard Conversations
Taking the keys — the line, and what's on the other side
Driving is identity. Taking the keys is one of the hardest single moments in the dementia journey — but waiting too long can be catastrophic.
Updated 2026-02-20
Today's red flags
- New dents on the car they can't explain.
- Getting lost on familiar routes.
- Pumping gas at the wrong pump or driving away with the hose.
- Friends or family asking "is it still safe?"
- An at-fault accident, even minor.
How to take them
- Request a driving evaluation from an Occupational Therapist — external authority removes blame.
- If unsafe today, ask the doctor to write a letter recommending stop driving.
- Some states allow physician reporting to DMV.
- Disable the car — battery cable removed, sell it, or move it out of sight.
Frequently asked questions
- Should I just hide the keys?
- It works for a week or two. After that the person notices, accuses you of stealing them, or finds them. Better to make it formal.
Every dementia journey is different.
Memory Lane Care helps you understand what applies to your loved one, what to expect next, and which resources fit your family's situation.
Related across the journey
Memory Lane connects every part of dementia care. Here's how this topic threads into the rest.
Behavior Guidance
Resources
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