Hard Conversations
Telling kids about dementia
Kids notice everything. Naming what's happening — at their level — makes them less scared, not more.
Updated 2026-02-27
Ages 3–6
- Keep it simple: 'Grandma's brain is getting tired. Sometimes she forgets things or gets confused. It's nobody's fault.'
- Reassure: 'She still loves you, even when she can't remember your name.'
- Book: 'What Happened to Grandpa?' by Maria Shriver.
Ages 7–11
- Name the disease: 'Grandma has Alzheimer's. It's a disease that hurts the brain.'
- Explain what they might see — repeating questions, getting lost, mood changes.
- Empower: 'Things YOU can do that help — show her photos, sing with her, hold her hand.'
- Book: 'Still My Grandma' by Veronique Van den Abeele.
Ages 12–17
- Be honest about progression. They can handle 'she will get worse.'
- Talk about what NOT to share on social media — privacy and dignity.
- Acknowledge their grief — they're losing the grandparent they knew.
- Offer space — they shouldn't be a primary caregiver, but small involvement is healing.
- Watch for behavior changes (school slipping, withdrawal) — therapy referral if needed.
Frequently asked questions
- Should young kids visit a grandparent with late-stage dementia?
- Usually yes, in short focused visits. Even when recognition is gone, the warmth often comes through. Prep kids on what to expect each visit.
- What about kids who are scared?
- Don't force visits. Let them participate by drawing pictures, sending recordings, helping you with something tangible.
Every dementia journey is different.
Memory Lane Care helps you understand what applies to your loved one, what to expect next, and which resources fit your family's situation.
Related across the journey
Memory Lane connects every part of dementia care. Here's how this topic threads into the rest.
Behavior Guidance
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